Astro Zombies Inc FrankIeroGerardWay
by Valkyrii
Summary: Currently on extended hiatus, sorry to all my readers, I just don't have any ideas for this at the moment. If you would like to suggest something, send me a message.


**Title:** Astro Zombies Inc.

**Author: VenaDOOM**

**Pairing:** Frerard

**Rating:** NC17, for future chapters

**Summary:** Frank Iero is not all he seems, and when a tour starts a very interesting chain of events, Frank begins to reveal his true self to his band mates, and on friend particularly.

**June 10th, 2005**

Frank woke with a start, he hadn't visited that dream in such a very  
long time, almost a hundred years. He twisted in his sheets, pure,  
beautiful Egyptian cotton, reaching over to the bedside table, he  
grabbed his phone and checked the time. It was 10am.

"Fuuuuck. Mikey's gonna kill me."

He was late, the band was supposed to be doing one last pre tour practice  
before they hit the road on Warped tour and didn't have either the time  
or the energy. It's not like they could complain about space, thanks to  
Frank, who'd used a nifty spell his grandmother taught him.  
His phone rang, caller id verifying that he was indeed late for  
practice.

"Hey." He said groggily as he stumbled out of bed.

"Where the fuck are you man?"

"Home Mikey, fought with Jamia, kicked her out, drank, overslept."

There was silence on the other end for a short time.

"Oh, sorry man. We kinda need you here so we can practice before we head  
to the buses this afternoon."

Frank and Jamia fighting was not a new thing, Frank kicking Jamia out  
was not a new thing, however, Frank drinking himself stupid over  
fighting with and/or kicking out Jamia was a new one.

"Be there soon."

Jamia couldn't stay either sober or monogamous. She went out, got  
wasted, fucked some random and came home. When he was on tour he came  
home to a messy house, broken shit everywhere and a peck on the cheek as  
she made her way out. Resolving not to think of cheating whores, Frank  
got into the shower, intent on steaming off the stupor of last nights  
drinking. As invulnerable as he was physically, he was still susceptible  
to the lure of alcohol. Once thoroughly cleaned he washed his hair and  
face, dried off and changed into something that didn't need washing and  
wasn't packed in his suitcases. He'd called a 24hr locksmith last night  
and had every single lock that needed a key changed so the bitch  
couldn't get in whilst he was away.  
he lugged all his gear onto the porch, locked up and headed out.

"Shit Frank, didn't hear you come in."

Gerard, Franks closest friend, was perched on the edge of a ratty old  
couch, cigarette in hand, scribbling away in a notebook as usual.

"Sorry Gee. How're you?"

Gerard shrugged, taking a drag from the nearly depleted smoke.

"About the same as usual. So, for good this time?"

Frank nodded.

"For good. Youtube this time, can't think of a better reason to get rid  
of her."

Gerard grinned.

"Youtube? You or?"

"Not me, but definitely her."

"Well, at least your safe from the furore."

"Mmm, wait till the razzi get a hold of this one, the tour will be  
hectic enough."

"Indeed. You ready for some play time?"

Frank smirked.

"Am I ever."

Two and a half hours later the bus had pulled up outside the complex and  
the band was just finishing up the last song of their set list. Brian  
Schecter, their manager, burst in and declared it time to pack it up.

"Bus' here, pack it up boys, we need to hit the road."

"Right dudes, it's show time." Ray exclaimed, clapping his hands and  
bouncing on the spot like a kid at the zoo.

"Ray had too much sugar this morning!" Bob said, even though they all  
knew it anyways.

"I don't see why we can't just fly to Ohio, instead of driving there.  
It's tedious." Mikey complained.

"If we flew you'd complain about jetlag, airplane booze being in such  
small quantities and the hostesses not being as accommodating as you'd  
like." Bob put forth in rebuttal.

Frank left the quarrelling foursome in favour of the bus, loading his gear  
and performing the wonderful little spell. Frank focused his  
concentration on a tiny rune in the centre of his hand, watching as it  
began to glow, the infinitesimal tremors let him know he was ready to  
perform and he placed his hand on the interior wall of the bus.

"Prs yd s'lystyqwn"

The rune on his hand pushed a tiny amount of concentrated, visible  
magical energy through Franks hand and it pulsed out, spreading out till  
it was so thin it wasn't visible any longer. There was a groan as the  
walls complied to Franks command, expanding under the strength of the  
spell and Frank sat back as six foot of space materialized in every  
compartment, the exterior remaining unchanged.

"Mswkry."

Claiming a bunk and unpacking his gaming equipment, he settled in with a  
bourbon for the rest of the guys to join him, intent on boozing and  
gaming his marital problems into the past. On a sudden but extremely  
strong impulse he pulled out his phone and dialled the bands Lawyer.

"Isaac, it's Frank Iero."

"Frank, always a pleasure. How is everything so far?"

"Good, good. Listen Isaac, I need a favor."

"I'm all ears kiddo."

"I want to divorce Jamia."

"On what grounds?"

"Infidelity and a few other things."

"This is serious Frank you do know what will happen when the media get  
a hold of this. I'll give you the number of a friend of mine in Ohio,  
she's a divorce lawyer, and she owes me one. You can't get away with  
telling her 'and a few other things'."

"Ok, thanks. I owe you one."

"You sure do kiddo. Take care."

"You too Isaac, bye."

Frank hung up seconds before the rest of the band invaded the bus,  
Gerard already with booze in hand.

"You look tense Frankie, wanna share?"

The boys of My Chemical Romance were like brothers, thick as thieves,  
and without a doubt the biggest support group for each other.

"I had a fight with Jamia last night."

"So we heard." Ray grumbled.

"I kicked her out."

"We know." Mikey put his oar in.

"You're divorcing her." Bob was scary sometimes, Frank said as much.

"But I'm right though." Bob rebutted.

"Yeah, you are."

"What'd she do?" Mikey asked, curious as ever.

"He doesn't have to tell us till he's ready and we don't have to know."

"No, it's ok Gee. They need to know what happened because this affects  
us all anyway, but thanks for the concern." Gerard nodded, taking a swig  
of his can whilst Frank collected himself. "She sold photos, intimate  
photos from our wedding night to several celebrity porn sites and  
paparazzo, she posted videos of us and herself with at least twelve  
different guys on the web, including YouTube, and she can't keep her  
legs or mouth shut."

Mikey shivered in disgust, Ray went to throw up, Gerard kept drinking  
and Bob, good old Bob, changed the subject.

"Did you do something in here Frank? It seems bigger then normal."

Frank's face lit up. "I finally figured out the right combination spell  
to make it six feet wider all around. There's an extra 30 foot of space  
in each compartment. Great huh, no more squishy beds or tiny  
bathroom's!" it came out in a rush, but it was more thankfulness to  
Bob's sensitivity than excitement over the subject.

Ray came bounding in soon after squealing in excitement.

"Frank, I love you man, the showers at least six feet bigger!"

Frank couldn't help but laugh.

"Dybwr 'sy zqt 'lh!"

"Frank, that's disturbing."

"What?"

**To Be Continued**

**Translations:**

**Prs yd s'lystyqwn** - I command growth under my hand;; Aramaic, Assyrian  
spec.

**Mswkry **- End;; Aramaic, Galilean spec.

**Dybwr 'sy zqt 'lh** - Praise the almighty guitar gods!;; Aramaic,  
Assyrian spec.

**A/N;;** I wrote and researched this on my Sidekick, so if the  
translations are wrong it's because they didn't come up in my browser  
properly. The inspiration for this story actually came from a HPTR story  
I read a while back. Everything that makes no sense, like Frank having  
weird dreams, being able to use magic etc, will be explained throughout  
the story. This one should be about 30 or so chapters if I can make it  
that far. Please rate and review as this is my first chapter fic and I  
would love to know how I'm doing.

VenaDOOM.


End file.
